One Thing You Can Do to Instantly Show Up with More Confidence
Feeling a little shaky or uncertain in high-stakes situations? You’re in good company. Even the most polished and poised among us experience moments of self-doubt. There’s a way to instantly elevate your confidence and presence in your next meeting.
Drumroll please....
Be Kind to Yourself.
Yep. That’s it. If you were expecting some other advice like, make eye contact, stand up straight or speak louder, I won’t disagree. All those things are important. Yet, I’ve coached hundreds of leaders who operate in high-stake situations daily and the number one thing that makes the biggest difference is how they talk to themselves about themselves.
We can say an awful lot of negative things to ourselves that we would never think of saying to someone else. "I'm such an idiot." "What if I get this wrong." “Don’t screw up.” Sound familiar? What you say to yourself impacts your emotions which drives your behaviors. We self-sabotage when we let unsupportive, unkind thoughts go unchecked.
Start by paying attention to what you are thinking when you feel unsure or nervous.As you meet with your boss, are you noticing tension in your shoulders? Are you clenching your jaw or breathing steadily and feeling relaxed? Our physical and emotional reactions can be the first clue into what we’re saying to ourselves. To become more consciously aware of your inner voice, try these things:
Be Still
When we’re constantly in motion and rushed, it’s easier to ignore or overlook what we’re saying to ourselves. Find a quiet moment and become aware of all the thoughts entering your mind. See how many thoughts you can capture.
Be Neutral
Allow yourself to have thoughts without initially judging or dismissing it. When a negative thought enter your mind, acknowledge it and let it pass.
Be Curious
Ask yourself, why am I thinking this thought? What’s surprising me? Is that thought helping me or getting in my way?
If the chatter in your head isn’t supporting you to show up as the strong, capable person you are, change it to something that will support you. Self-confidence is rooted in self-compassion. If you still struggle to think of something kind to say to yourself, try these on for size:
“No one is expecting perfection."
"You've done hard things before, and you can do this too."
“Comfort and growth do not co-exist. Look at you go!”
